


Lightning Take The Wheel

by multishep



Category: Final Fantasy XIII
Genre: Community: fangrai-forever, Crack, F/F, FangRai, FangRai February, Fluff, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-21
Updated: 2013-07-21
Packaged: 2017-12-20 21:35:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/892139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multishep/pseuds/multishep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for prompt #142 in which Lightning teaches Fang how to use Cocoon's advanced technology.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lightning Take The Wheel

She could feel the cool familiar hands run gently down her backside as she fought the urge to shiver. It was Fang’s preferred method of waking her up most mornings, and usually she didn’t complain. Today however, was not a normal day. Lightning was not the type to show fear. Many believed she was incapable of _feeling_ fear and although that rumour was spread by none other than Serah and Vanille – with more than a smidget of help from Lebreau – it was a common belief within the family that their beloved Commander did in fact have one single fear; _Fang_.

Lightning could feel the burn in her cheeks as Fang continued to trace patterns on her bare skin in the darkened room. It was unlike the huntress to be awake before noon, but there she was; very much awake and using Lightning’s body as a personal sketchpad. If anyone could see the pitiful state she was in she would surely be the laughingstock of the entire town. The great Commander Lightning Farron of New Oerba’s Guardian Corps, Leader of l’Cie, Saviour of the people, Hero of the lands – and all the other titular nonsense bestowed upon her – was playing dead. Thankfully, her bare back was to the equally bare Pulsian because, hard as Lightning tried, she couldn’t keep from grimacing when Fang targeted her sensitive areas. Lightning held her breath when a scream threatened to escape her. Desperate thoughts echoed her mind as she fought to reclaim some semblance of her dignity. _I am not_ playing dead; _I am simply feinting sleep… but yes, I would actually rather be dead._

Many moons ago, amidst one of their many bouts of passion, she had accidentally agreed to teach the Oerban how to drive. The horror of the reality strengthened her pitiful resolve to ask Snow to teach Fang in her stead, but the look of excitement and winning smile her lover gave her every day had it crumbling to ash and dust. Fang’s relationship with electrical appliances and Cocoonian technology was strictly fire and ice. It was so notorious that the New Oerban fire department relocated from the other end of town to the next block over from their neighbourhood just weeks after Fang moved in with Lightning. The neighbours had even invested a hefty sum in shifting their property a safe distance away from their abode after the weekly fires began. Lightning did not – and _would not_ – succumb to such levels of treachery. Fang was trying, and if supporting her lover meant burnt dinner every Friday, weekly fires, and a ridiculous insurance policy then so be it.

Lightning cracked open an eye to investigate the sudden lack of contact but let out a startled squeal when she was faced with striking emeralds just inches from her face. Fang grinned victoriously in all her bare naked glory on the floor beside Lightning’s nightstand.

“I knew ya weren’t sleeping, Love,” the huntress stated. Lightning set down the pillow she intended on using as a weapon. _On second thought…_

 _Thwump_.

“Hey! What the bloody hell was that for?” Fang quickly raised her hands in time to block the second blow and yank the offending cushion out of Lightning’s grip.

“For molesting me in my sleep,” Lightning stated simply.

“You would have to be _asleep_ for that to be true, Light. Too excited to sleep?” Fang was referring to the driving lessons Lightning had promised – or as the latter would like to call it; their impending death sentence.

In all honesty, Lightning was the very opposite of excited; she was terrified to Etro’s realm and back. She had finally found happiness in her life and ironically the source of that happiness may be responsible for her possible death later in the day. Lightning considered canceling the lessons, but the look Fang was giving her could only be rivaled by a eager and playful pup. On the other hand, it would be quite embarrassing for someone as deified as her to be bested by a windshield. Luckily for Fang, Lightning would rather face unrelenting embarrassment than break her promise. She pressed her lips against Fang’s, silencing any of the Pulsian’s worries, and headed to the bathroom; but not before sending a few silent prayers to the Goddess.

For once in her life Lightning was grateful for Fang’s sluggish pace in the early mornings. She contemplated calling Snow – she was tough, though the man was much sturdier – but was against the idea of widowing poor Serah. _I suppose there is a way out of this – wait, NO._ Lightning frowned.

Fang had originally asked to drive a velocycle and had gone to Snow for lessons, but Lightning figured her wife would be much safer hitting high speeds encased in a steel box rather than a bike, leaving her no choice but to offer up her car. Snow reassured her that Shiva would have kept the Oerban safe, but the idea of her wife riding around town on _two women_ was just plain creepy.

She reached out and rested one hand on the hood of her car apologetically. She loved this car; it was the only gift of the ones the GC had showered her with that she actually accepted. A car was practical; a prototypic three storied battle mech was not. The model was the only one of its kind, custom built for the duties of a Commander. Its obsidian black colour didn’t attract an annoying amount of attention, and the license plate that read FARRON kept away any potential car thieves.

“You ready for this, Love?” There it was; that winning smile again. It was too late for Lightning to turn back, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t try.

“Err, I… I can’t find my keys.” She gave Fang a sheepish smile and shrugged when the Pulsian returned it with a skeptical look. To Lightning’s horror, the keys Fang dug out of her pocket and waved merrily in her face were identical to the ones she had “misplaced”. _Right… spare keys. Damn it._

“Can we go now? Serah just called, they’re already there.” Of all places Vanille wanted to visit for lunch she just had to choose a restaurant all the way in New Bodhum. Lightning couldn’t help but feel like the red head and Fang were conspiring against her.

The closing of the driver’s side door left Lightning no room for argument. After one last nervous glance back at her home, she entered the metal coffin that used to be her car. The vehicle hummed softly when Fang turned the key in the ignition. With a grin reaching from one ear to the other, Fang excitedly reached for the gear stick and put the car in reverse.

“Did you adjust your mirrors yet?” Lightning paled when Fang chuckled nervously and returned the car to neutral to do just that. Judging by the amount of adjustment each mirror needed before Fang returned the car to its reverse gear, the woman might as well have driven to New Bodhum with a blindfold on.

Lightning cracked a small smile as Fang successfully manoeuvred their vehicle out of the spacious driveway and let out a breath of relief. That wasn’t so bad; in fact, it wasn’t bad at all. If Lightning hadn’t known any better, she would have assumed Fang had plenty of years of driving experience. It was only when her wife put the car into first gear did all chaos broke loose.

Suddenly, the car jerked to a slamming halt and the soft hum of the engine disappeared, leaving behind a slight ringing sound Lightning was sure wasn’t there before she got into the vehicle. She also didn’t know exactly what the insanely high pitched shrieking noise was, but judging by the shocked look Fang was giving her, it must have come from herself.

“Fang, let go of the clutch SLOWLY as you ease down on the gas.” Amidst all the excitement of finally being allowed to drive, Fang had forgotten some of the basics Lightning had taught her about operating a vehicle. She leaned over and planted a loving kiss on her wife’s pale cheek.

“Sorry, Love,” Fang chuckled and waved at a friendly neighbour who stopped to give her two thumbs up. After listening to Lightning ramble through the basics of _how not to kill your wife while driving_ for what felt like an eternity, she was finally allowed to try again.

The trip to New Bodhum was far from smooth. The last time Lightning had felt that incredibly dizzy was back during recruit training. The squad leader at the time – Commander Shepard – was _the_ worst driver Lightning had ever met. More than half the squad had lost consciousness during the horrific ride to their area of operations and failed to complete the mission. Lightning was one of the few to continue the test, though she did so on an empty stomach.

Lightning had a tough time deciding who the better driver of the two was. In Commander Shepard’s defense, the terrain _was_ quite bumpy whereas Fang could make the most level of roads feel like driving through a crater. On the other hand, Fang had yet to make the vehicle do a back flip with the both of them inside or sink the vehicle in a body of water.

The pair was halfway to New Bodhum when Lightning decided she wasn’t giving Fang enough credit. Her wife’s gear shifting was sloppy, but she was a new driver; Lightning could forgive that. Aside from that; Fang obeyed every traffic rule and was an all around pleasant person to encounter on the roads – though the lack of complaints could also be attributed to people recognizing the Commander’s car and not wanting to spend a night in detainment.

For the first time since she woke up that morning, Lightning felt somewhat calm. She reached for the communicator in her pocket and hit the number two on the dial pad.

“I’ll call Serah and let her know we’re on our way.” The call connected and she waited for Serah to answer.

Suddenly, Lightning once again found her body fighting against the seatbelt desperately trying to hold her in place as the tires screeched in protest to the unexpected halt. She fought desperately for words but her mind was still reeling from the one-eighty degree turn Fang just pulled.

“That stupid, bloody cactaur came out of nowhere!” Fang grumbled. The amazingly calm Pulsian turned to her pale wife. “Light, you okay, Love?” She grimaced when the smell of burnt rubber reached her. Lightning was going to implode. She looked around nervously as she waited for an answer from her awfully silent wife. Luckily, there were no other cars on the road.

“Go.” The soldier’s voice was barely a whisper; even Fang had to strain her ears to make out the simple instruction. Lightning wanted to scream but she couldn’t find the energy to do so. She had taught Fang everything she knew about driving and it was up to her wife to figure out the rest. She wanted to trust that Fang would get them to the restaurant safely; she really did. But any hope she had about making the rest of the trip alive went straight out the window when Fang put the gear in reverse and continued the rest of the trip to New Bodhum… backwards.

* * *

 

Vanille tossed Serah a questioning look as she sipped on her iced tea. The pink haired woman had received a call and was having a difficult time getting the attention of the caller. She turned the speakerphone on and set the device on the table between them.

“Just listen.” Vanille leaned closer in attempt to hear the conversation on the other end amidst the loud chatter in the crowded restaurant.

_“Does it still hurt, Love? I didn’t mean to go so fast, I’ll slow down from now on, Light.”_

_Silence._

Serah’s face took on the hue of a tomato and she wondered if they were listening in on something they shouldn’t be. Vanille stifled a giggle and moved the communicator closer to herself, scared the other woman would hang up the device out of prudence.

_“I’m sorry for scratching your rear, okay? This dumb stick is so hard to work!”_

Serah nearly choked on her cola. Just what in the heavens was Fang doing to her older sister? On second thought, she didn’t want to know. The pink haired woman reached over and snatched her communicator back from Vanille who was listening to the conversation a tad too intently.

“Hey! I was listening to that.” Vanille pouted when Serah shoved the device back into her purse.

“I noticed.” Vanille rolled her eyes at her friend. “Where are they? We were supposed to meet here half an hour ago!”

Vanille looked up at the clock. She felt as though she was forgetting something important. Lightning was never late; usually she and Fang would be the first to arrive whenever they made plans to get together. The red headed woman reached into her handbag for her own communicator and was about to dial her adoptive sister’s number when frantic screaming from outside caught her attention. Many of the other customers had gathered at the front window and audible gasps and murmuring could be heard, even from their booth at the back. Vanille curiously left the restaurant with Serah following close behind.

The source of the screams and scurrying pedestrians immediately became obvious. In the far end of the parking lot, a familiar black car was making its way up the driveway looking as if the driver inside was alternating stomps between the gas and brake pedals. Serah and Vanille stared on in horror when they recognized Lightning’s car. The sleek obsidian black paint was scratched all around the entire perimeter of the car. There was also a heavy stench of burnt rubber and a large indent on the rear bumper.

They continued to watch in silent horror as the driver miraculously aligned the car with the empty parking space directly in front of them then decide to stomp on the gas with the car in reverse. Their screams could be heard above the screeching tires as the vehicle came to a rapid halt in the space, just two feet away from where they were standing. Serah relinquished her bear hug around Vanille and readied herself to unleash her teacherly fury on her reckless older sister when the driver’s side door opened and she was greeted with a pair of tanned slender legs.

“Hey kiddos! Great reversing skills, huh?” Fang grinned in greeting and ran around to hold the door open for her wife. “What’d I tell ya, Light? I told you I could get us here in one piece, you were just overreacting.”

Vanille doubled over in laughter at the sight of Lightning while Serah wisely suppressed her own. The older Farron looked as though she had just wrestled a vacuum cleaner for her hair and lost. She shot Vanille and her sister an icy glare. _Not… a single word._

“Not bad for your first time driving, Fang,” Serah offered with a giggle. Lightning twitched at the basketball sized dent in her car.

“It was fun, Pinky. I think I’ve got the hang of it now so the drive back should be a lot smoother. Did you order yet? I’m hungry.” Fang weaved her way through the small crowd that had gathered and entered the restaurant.

Lightning froze and gave the younger women a horrified look. She had promised Fang a trip to the restaurant _and back_.

“Serah, can you drive me back?” Vanille chuckled and waved her finger at the older woman.

“Nuh uh uh! You made your bed, Light, now you have to lie in it.”

“Vanille! I’m lucky… I’m not lying… in a coffin right now,” Lightning said between grunts as she pulled on the tangles in her hair.

“Actually,” Serah gave her friend a nervous laugh. “I have a meeting right after this so I can’t drive you back, Vanille. You have to hitch a ride with Fang.” The horrified look that twisted Vanille’s friendly features was almost comical. Lightning wrapped an arm around Vanille’s shoulders and pulled her into the restaurant.

“You’d better order something to eat, Vanille. We have a _long_ drive home ahead of us, but don’t worry; Fang’s not too terrible at driving in reverse.” Vanille stopped dead in her tracks and watched in horror as Lightning continued through the restaurant, cackling maniacally.

Perhaps she should consider ordering a larger meal. She had a long walk home ahead of her.


End file.
